Losing myself in you
by Cathelijne
Summary: What happens when Justing starts developing feelings for Andrew? AndrewJustin..slash. Chapter 9 is up! Please R&R! :
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: Since this fic is getting a lot more attention than I'd expected I decided to 'pimp' it up slightly. ;) I've actually got a disclaimer now (I know!) and I'm in the middle of trying to get out all spelling mistakes out of the chapters. I'm also making some minor alteration to some weird sentences. Most of these chapter were written pretty quickly, hence the mistakes. I haven't redone all of them yet, actually I've only rewritten this one but I'll try and do the other chapter as soon as possible as I do realize that the spelling mistakes are a little annoying. ;)_

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Desperate Housewives or the characters. sigh

**Chapter 1**

To be honest, first time I saw Andrew, I kind of thought he was an ass, a cute ass, but still, an ass nonetheless. It was the night John gave a party in our apartment, I was just hanging around, talking to some people when I heard a _slightly _drunk John yelling , "Hey buddy!". I thought he was talking to me –since not a lot of other people seemed to be that fond of John that night- so I turned around. I was wrong. He was talking to some guy standing in the doorway. I didn't get to see him very well because some girl came up to me and started talking, I was freed from this boring conversation when John pulled me away.

"Justin, come with me", he ordered drunkenly, "You have to meet my buddy, Andrew", he led me too where Andrew was standing. "This is Andrew, Danielle's brother"

I extended my hand, "Justin", I casually nodded, studying the boy's face. He certainly wasn't ugly, I noticed, not that it meant anything of course.

"Andrew", he said shaking my hand briefly. Suddenly John drunkenly threw his arms around us.

"Glad to see you're getting along _amigos_!", he yelled causing everyone to glance in our direction annoyed. I rolled my eyes, John gets so annoying when he is drunk. This night was no exception. He loudly continued blabbing, when suddenly he started talking about Gabrielle. When it came to the point of him telling everyone at the party loudly about his and Gabrielle's _escapades_. I had heard enough. "John", I said annoyed, "Spare us the details please".

John shrugged, when suddenly his face turned sad. "It wouldn't matter now anyway," he said sadly, "She doesn't love me, she only used me". I looked at John surprised when suddenly his sadness turned into rage, this all because of another break-up between him and Gabrielle.

"But whatever, it's not like I care," he said loudly. "I can easily live without her. She's just a snob, thinking she's above everyone else. Yeah! She's nothing but a stupid bitch!" Quickly more _rude _remarks followed and I looked at John disgusted, I knew he was drunk and that he didn't mean it, but he was still crossing the line. I was just about to tell him what I thought, when I heard Andrew snicker. I watched as he patted John on the back.

"You're so right John," he said, still laughing to himself. "Couldn't have said it better myself." Now it was Andrew I was looking at disgusted. How could he say that? Now, I was getting ready to tell both of them what I thought of them when I was interrupted again. It was John, the big amount of alcohol had done their damage and had sent him straight down to the floor. At fist I thought I'd just leave him there, but I decided to act like an adult and help him. I kneeled down besides him shaking my head.

"He's gone." I stated, "He won't wake up anytime soon. Do you mind helping me getting him into his room?" I asked glancing up to Andrew. I really wasn't in the mood to talk to him right now, I was still slightly disgusted, but there really wasn't anyone else nearby to help. All other people had shattered around the apartment again now the show was over. He nodded and together we got John safe and sound back in his bed. I stood next to Andrew in front of the bed, both of us watching John.

"Asshole" Andrew suddenly said, causing me to look up surprised. "No, not you, John," Andrew said, "Kind of pathetic saying all those things about the woman you love, even if you're drunk.." I glanced back at Andrew, maybe he wasn't as bad as I thought. He looked at me before walking back to the party.

Soon after that I got myself a drink. I was casually looking around, leaning against the wall, when the girl that I had been talking to earlier came up to me.

"Hey, what are you doing here all alone?" She asked me flirtatiously putting a hand on my chest. I knew what she wanted. I quickly glanced up and down her body but found that I didn't feel any attraction towards her. In fact, I found her desperate moves towards me, well, kind of pathetic.

"Just enjoying the peace and quiet" I said brushing her hand away. She huffed and walked away, it was then when Andrew came up to me. Whistling as he watched her go.

"Such a waste" He said, his eyes following her before looking back to me. Then I knew it, Andrew was back to normal.

* * *

_Hope you guys enjoyed it :) A lot better without the spelling mistakes, eh? ;)_

_Please leave a review!_


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 

As I almost shoved the last person out of the appartment I turned back to Andrew who came out of John's room shaking his head, "He's sleeping now, he'll be fine", he said looking at me.

I nodded and looked around the room, it was a mess, empty drinking cups were laying all over the place. Where was John when you needed him? Andrew apparently read my thoughts, "I could help you clean up the place if you want", he suggested.

"That would be great!", I said happily "Well, I guess we should get started", I sighed before picking up some of the mess. As we cleaned up the mess Andrew let me in about the gossip on Wisteria Lane. I listened as he mocked Lynette Scavo, "_Preston! Parker! Please stop, be nice to mommy! Why won't you listen?_", he mocked in a desperate voice. If it wouldn't have been Andrew, I doubt I would've found it funny, but for some reason with him I did. I laughed before stuffing the last mess in a garbadge bag. "Thanks for helping", I smiled as I was pleasantly suprised by the smile I got in return, "No problem"

"Hey Justin..", he started hesitantly, "Do you mind if I crash here? I've had a couple of drinks so don't know if it's such a good idea for me to drive home"

"Yeah sure", I said, "You wanna use the phone to call your mom?", I asked, "It's in the kitchen"

"Yeah thanks", he nodded and walked to the kitchen as I went to get a pillow and a blanket for him. I, of course didn't notice that he hadn't called his mother at all. I looked up as Andrew walked back in, "She was cool with it", he stated and I nodded. I pointed at the couch which I had tried to make as comfortable as possible.

"It's not perfect, but I hope it will do", I smirked and Andrew laughed. "It's fine really", he said.

"Okay", I said slightly uncomfortable about what to do next, "Okay, I'm off to bed, if you need anything, well there's the kitchen as you know, and there's the bathroom", I told him.

"Okay", Andrew nodded, " Good Night", he smirked laying back on the couch

I walked to the door, "Night", I said glancing at him before entering my own room. I quickly slid off my shirt and my trousers, and layed back on my bed. I was dead tired. It was not long after I closed my eyes that I fell asleep.

The next morning I woke up considerably early, I was woken up by the usual cars outside. I groaned before I got out of my bed and walked into the living room, I was about to walk to the kitchen to get myself some coffee when I suddenly heard a voice behind me.

"Good morning sunshine", Andrew smirked making me jump. I had kind of forgot about him staying over. I turned around, "Hey", I said, "Kind of forgot about you there"

"Yeah I notice, you should've seen yourself, you looked ridiculous", he smirked, I laughing threw a near-by magazine at him. It was then that I noticed I was only wearing my boxers, which made me feel rather uncomfortable but I decided to act cool about it. Andrew obviously didn't seem to find it weird and I didn't want to loose my cool attitude.

"You want coffee?", I asked as I dragged myself to the kitchen.

"Yeah sure", Andrew answered as I soon came back with to cups of coffee. I handed him one and sat myself down in one of the chairs.

"How late is your mom expecting you back?", I asked, "Well, I mean, not that I want you to leave or anything..", I said mentally slapping myself. Why did I always say such ridiculous things? Andrew didn't seem to bother though, "I don't know", he shrugged, "It doesn't really matter. You want to go do something fun today?", he asked catching me by suprise.

"Yeah sure", I said I had actually promised John to help him with some gardening work he was doing at the moment, but something just made me say yes. Besides, John owed me one, "What did you have in mind?"

"We could go to the Mall, I heard they are showing the Village in the cinema, maybe we could go see it", he shrugged.

We almost spent the entire day hanging out at the Mall, soon after that I found myself hanging out with Andrew more and more, and soon I found myself being one of his closest friends.


	3. Chapter 3

Sorry for the late update, I went on vacation..I tried to make this chapter longer than the previous ones..I have also finished Chapter 4 & 5..I'll post them later..4

**Chapter 3**

The more I started hanging out with Andrew, the more it almost seemed that he took over my life, in a way. I spent almost all my time hanging out with Andrew, and if someone else with us, it was rather a friend of Andrew, than one of mine. But the weirdest thing was, that I didn't really mind, I actually hadn't even noticed it, till John and I were eating pizza one night -Andrew was with his grandmother for the weekend, the only person in his family he actually seemed to like-. I was eating my pizza as we were watching some lame soap.

"You and Andrew seem to get along well", John said suddenly, causing me to look up suprised, I hadn't expected that.

"Uh..yeah..I guess", I answered

"I guess? I barely get to see you anymore", John laughed. Though he said it jokingly I couldn't help but feel guilty. John didn't seem to bothered though, as he was already concentrating on the TV again. I guess he had other things on his mind, such as Gabrielle, so I concentrated on the Tv again.

The next morning I crawled out of bed to open the door –John had already left for work- and was pleasantly suprised to see Andrew there, "You're back", I said suprised, "I thought you weren't coming back till Sunday"

"I wasn't", Andrew grinned, "My grandmother had totally forgotten about our visit and had signed herself up for a boat trip this weekend", he said laughing while he invited himself in. I laughed and closed the door behind him, I walked into the kitchen to get him a soda, I threw it at him and he catched it smirking.

"So, you want to go clubbing tonight", he asked still smirking, and I could sense one of his brilliant schemes was coming up.

"How do you want to get in?", I asked suspiciously, "You're only 16"

"True", he smirked, "But a brother of a friend of mine works at Jezz, he can get us in there"

"Well, I guess I'm in then", I said aware of the fact objecting wouldn't help. Andrew always knew what he wanted, and he wouldn't stop before getting his way. Andrew smriked and sat back on the couch sipping his drink. I shook my head laughing and sat myself down next to him.

"So, you want to go the Mall?", I asked.

"Yeah, sure I'll just need to get some money", he said putting down his soda, "I'll go get it now, while you get dressed"

"If you wait I can get dressed and I can come with you", I said, I had only been to Andrew's house a few times. And when I was, it was only in his room. He didn't really seem to like his mother, but in the few minutes I had seen her, she didn't seem that bad.

Andrew shrugged, "Suit yourself", he said, "Just please don't start talking to my mom, once she gets started she'll start making all these proposals you can't refuse", I nodded.

"Okay, I'll go get dressed", I said walking back to my bedroom to get some clothes.

When I was ready we left for Andrew house, Andrew opened and walked straight to the stairs, totally ignoring his mom's greeting from the living room, when she stood up to say hello to me, I wasn't sure what to do. Andrew asked me not to talk to his mother, but I couldn't just pretend I didn't see her, could I?

"Hello Justin", Bree said to me, "How are you?"

"I'm good, thanks and you?", I asked politely.

"Good, I was just making some chocolate chip cookies, I just put them in the oven", she told me happily, "So are you and Andrew doing anything special?", she asked me.

"No, not really", I lied, "Just ordering some pizza, watch a movie or something like that", although she seemed slightly disgusted by the idea of a ordered pizza, she seemed to find it acceptable.

"That's good", she smiled, "You know, since you are becoming such a good friend of Andrew maybe you should come by for dinner sometime", by that time, Andrew was coming back down the stairs with his bag, and looked at me mouthing no, but when I looked back at a hopeful Bree, I just couldn't say no.

"That would be great, Mrs. VandeKamp", I said trying to ignore Andrew rolling his eyes.

"Great!", Bree said happily, "How about tomorrow?"

"Yeah, that would be fine", I said.

"Okay, great, then that's settled. So, you boys have fun okay? Bye!", she said before dissapearing back into the kitchen.

Though Andrew seemed quite annoyed, he quickly got over it when we were driving back.

That night we ordered some pizza before we headed to Jezz. The 'brother of his friend' got us in through the backdoor, and Andrew and I sat down at the bar. We ordered our first drink, and Andrew looked at the dancefloor, leaning back on the bar. As some girl signed him to come over, he slid of his bartool.

"Sorry, I'm going to leave you alone now, you'll be okay right?", he said shook my head laughing and gulped my drink down. I did some dancing with some brown-haired girl named Madison, she was a nice girl, I had tried to insuspiciously make it seem I hadn't noticed the signs she was giving, the one that told me she wanted me to kiss her. I liked her, she was a nice girl, but I didn't like her like that. I went to the bar to get us some drinks, when Andrew came up to me with some girl.

"Hey man", he said, "This is Ashley. She was at the party too, remember?", suddenly I saw it. It was the girl that had tried to make a move on me. As I looked at her, I could've sworn she gave me the evil eye. I couldn't help but feel she wasn't good enough for Andrew. Frankly, seeing them together made me feel really weird, though I couldn't really place this feeling. I smiled and picked up my drinks, "Well, nice to see you again, but I need to go, Madison is waiting for me", I said walking back over to Madison. Once I was back with Madison I couldn't help but constantly look where Andrew was, and look what he was doing with Ashley. I scanned the dancefloor for Andrew and quickly spotted him, and saw him kissing her. I suddenly felt the urge to walk over there and pull them away from eachother, I felt the same way I did earlier, but this time I knew what it was, I felt _jealous_. I suddenly leaned in to Madison and started kissing her. I could feel she was suprised, but she quickly got over it and wrapped her arms around my neck. I wrapped my arms around her waist, and turned her so that Andrew could see I was kissing her. Suddenly I realised what I was doing, I was trying to make Andrew jeaulous. By this realisation I quickly pulled away, causing Madison to look up and hurt and suprised.

"Sorry", I whispered, "I..I have to go", I said letting her go, at that moment I just wanted to run out of the club, but I knew I had to tell Andrew I was going. Still a little confused, I walked over to Andrew, since we were with his car, it didn't really matter if I left, I tapped him on his shoulder.

"Hey, look, I'm gonna go, okay?", I said, Andrew looked up confused.

"What do you mean? Why? How are you going to get home?", he asked.

"I'll take a cab", I said and before Andrew could respond I quickly walked away. When I was outside I closed my eyes and took a deep breathe. This couldn't be happening. I couldn't like one of my best friends.

I couldn't like Andrew.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

The next day it took me even longer to get out of bed than it usually did. I hadn't slept at all last night. If it wasn't bad enough I found out I liked Andrew, I also had to eat dinner with him and his entire family. I mentally slapped myself about not listening to Andrew, when he told me I shouldn't start talking to his mother. For one moment I was thinking about maybe calling to say I couldn't make it, but I realised I had to go. I got myself out of bed and before I knew it, the day was over and it was time to go. I drove to Andrew's house but when I was in front of it, I took me some time to actually get out of the car. I walked over to the door, and knocked. Bree opened the door smiling.

"Hello Justin", she said, "Come in"

"Hello Mrs. VandeKamp", I said smiling a little unsure, but Bree didn't seem to notice. I followed Bree into the living room, where the rest of the family was, except for Andrew. Suddenly scenario's in which Andrew was angerly throwing things at me for leaving him alone, went through my head, but I quickly shook the thought of of me as I shook Mr. VandeKamp's and Danielle's hand.

"Danielle could you go get Andrew?", Bree asked her daughter, and I couldn't help but feel relieved that he was there. I just hoped he wasn't angry at me. A few minutes later Andrew came down the stairs, it was hard to tell how he was feeling. At the table I tried to avoid any conversation, especially with Andrew. But I failed miserably, as Bree was constantly asking me questions.

I was relieved when the final course was over, but I knew had to talk to Andrew. Give some kind of explanation why I left so suddenly. Of course I wasn't going to tell him I liked him, I would just have to make something up.

"Um..Andrew..do you still have my..cd?", I said trying to get his attention, he seemed to get the hint.

"Yeah, sure it's in my room, let's go", Andrew said walking up the stairs. He closed the door behind him.

"Man, what was all that about yesterday?", he asked immediatly

"I wasn't feeling very well", I said trying to avoid his gaze.

"You could've just said that", Andrew said, "You were gone before I could say a thing. If you just waited I could've come with you. It was a total bore after you left"

"It was?", I asked suprised, "What about Ashley, you seemed to be enjoying youselves"

"Nah, she was boring", Andrew said, "But what about the girl you were with..Madison?", he added smirking, "She seemed to entertain you good enough"

"Oh well", I said trying to come up with what I should say about her, I could hardly tell him I only kissed her to make him jeaulous, "She wasn't really my type afterall"

"Didn't look like that", Andrew laughed, "But do want to do something tonight?", he asked.

"Yeah sure", I said glad that he wasn't angry at me.

"Cool, we'll go to your house after we're done here okay?"

"Yeah okay", I said, "So I guess we should get back down again", Andrew shrugged and walked down again.

"Did you find the cd?", Bree asked.

"No, I forgot I left it at home", I quickly made up and had to hold my breathe so I wouldn't laugh when Andrew smirked at me as he sat down.

After we were finished, Andrew and I stepped out the door.

"You want to go to the arcade?", Andrew asked looking at me.

"Yeah sure", I said stepping into my car and I drove to the arcade. We quickly got out when suddenly I saw someone familair. Andrew saw it too and smirked.

"This is not you're lucky night is it", he said laughing, causing Madison to look our way. I tried to pretend I didn't see her as I gave Andrew the evil eye. Too late. Madison had already spotted me and was now coming my way.

"Justin!", she said happily making me feel quite guilty about giving her false hope, that feeling only got worse when she kissed me and smiled, "You were gone quite fast yesterday", how was I going to tell her I didn't like her? When I looked up, I saw a smirking Andrew standing behind her mouthing 'desperate', I gave him the evil eye. "Yeah, I wasn't feeling quite well", I said and I turned her to Andrew. Andrew extended his hand.

"I'm Andrew, Justin's best friend", he said and I suddenly felt really good. It felt good to know Andrew saw himself as my best friend.

"Madison", Madison said smiling reminding me of the fact she was still there, damn. I had to tell her this wouldn't work out.

"Madison, can you come with me?", I asked her, "You'll be fine right?", I asked Andrew who nodded, he knew what I was going to do.

"Yeah sure", she said happily. I led her to some quiet corner of the arcade. She obviously took the sign wrong and immediatly started kissing me. This was going to be a lot harder than I thought. I was glad when she finally pulled away.

"It's good to see you again", she said smiling as she started leaning in again but I quickly pulled away,

"Um..Madison..Look..I..Yesterday I was a little confused, you're a great girl, but I don't like you in that way, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have given you false hope", I said immediatly feeling guilty at the way she was looking at me. I could see she was hurt and she walked away. I leaned my forehead on the wall, and Andrew came up to me patting me on the shoulder.

"You did the right thing man", he said. Sometime later I had totally forgotten about Madison. Andrew and I were laughing hysterically at people walking by. Andrew suddenly nodded to some girl kissing a guy, "Guess she wasn't too attached to you afterall", he said as I saw it was Madison. Though it didn't bother me at all.

Back at my apartment Andrew and I had ordered pizza, which we were eating in front of the TV, when John suddenly came out of his room.

"Uhm..I'm going to a friend okay?", he said causing me and Andrew to laugh. We both knew where he was going, Carlos Solis was on a buisness trip and John had spent suspiciously many nights out of his own bed.

"Sure John", Andrew said smirking and John laughed walking out of the door. We turned back to the TV, Andrew switched the channels till he stopped when we saw two men kissing eachother. I looked at Andrew suprised before turning back to the TV.

"Have you ever done that?", he asked causing me to look up suprised.

"Done what?", I asked not knowing exactly what he meant.

"Kiss a guy", he said turning to me.

"No..you?", I asked slightly uncomfortable.

"No, but there's a first time for everything right?", he said looking at me.

"I guess", I answered when suddenly Andrew sat closer to me.

"Then do it", he said looking at me. I was too suprised to do anything. Andrew must have noticed as he moved even closer, till our lips were almost touching, when he looked at me again. This was Andrew, and he wanted me to kiss him. I moved myself closer and our lips touched. Andrew closed his eyes and so did I. I was pleasantly suprised when I felt Andrew's tongue sliding across lower lip, I opened my mouth to let him in, glad he was taking the lead. His tongue met mine and I couldn't help but moan by the sensation I was feeling. I felt him smiling against my lips and I dared to put my arms around his waist and pull him even closer to me. I laid back on the couch pulling him on top of me. Andrew took control of the kiss and the kiss got more intense. I don't know how long we were kissing, when after a while Andrew slowly moved away. I opened my eyes, scared that I did something wrong.

"I have to go", he said softly, though it sounded nothing like when I used it as an excuse to get away from Madison.

"Right", I answered not looking away and neither did he. For some time we just laid there. Neither one of us moving.

"Your arm", Andrew said

"Oh, right, yes", I said removing my arm away from his waist. Andrew got up and my arms suddenly felt empty. I got up and followed him to the door. This was weird. He was about to open the door when he turned around and kissed me again. Though it was only a quick one compared the kiss we shared before it was a good one. He gave me a weird smile.

"Bye", he said before opening the door and stepping into the hallway.

"Bye", I said and suddenly he was gone. Leaving me alone and kind of confused about what just had happened.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

When I woke up the next day, I was just as confused as I was the day before. What would happen now? Yesterday before the whole kiss happened he had said he'd come by the next day. Would he still come? Trying to get my mind off of things, I went to get some breakfast. It didn't help. My mind kept going back to the kiss. Even John noticed I was distracted.

"What are thinking about?", he asked while he tried to stuff a sandwich into his mouth at the same time.

"Nothing, why?", I tried to answer nonchalantly.

"You were looking all spaced out", John said grinning to himself, "You were obviously thinking about something"

"It's nothing really", I said, "I'm just a little tired", John shrugged and went back to his sandwich. Someone else would've probably gone on about it till I'd tell it, but John wasn't like that. If you didn't want to talk about something, he would just let it go. That was one of the things, I really respected in him. I went back to my breakfast when suddenly John jumped up.

"I have to be at Mrs. Treshill in ten minutes!", he said, John was never the organised type obviously.

"If you take the car, you can make it easily", I said

"No, I can't, my car is at the garage. I already dropped of my stuff at Mrs. Treshill's house yesterday so I'd only have to walk there, but I'll never make it now", he said

"I'll drive you there", I said finishing up my breakfast, I put my dish in the sink and John gave me a grateful smile.

"Thanks man", he said

"No problem", I said, I hadn't spent much time with John lately, and I really wanted to get my mind of things. I drove him to Mrs. Treshill's house and dropped him off.

"You want me to pick you up?", I asked.

"Nah, I'll be fine, I have somewhere to be after that aswell", he said, looking at Mrs. Solis' house. I laughed and shook my head.

"I take Mr. Solis is still on his buisnesstrip?", I asked smirking

"Yeah, he was supposed to come back yesterday, but he had to stay in Ohio for one more week", he answered smirking, "So, don't expect me home tonight". I laughed and turned the car.

"Okay, see you tomorrow then", I said before driving away. Before I went back home I went to the supermarket to get some food. When I got home, I came to the conclusion that trying to open your door with a box full of groceries in you hand, well, it's quite impossible. Of course, handy as I am, the whole box fell and all groceries were now shattered all over the floor.

"Need some help with that?", I heard someone ask and I looked up. It was a smirking Andrew. What was I going to say?

"Yeah thanks", I said and Andrew started putting the groceries back in the box. He took the keys from my hand and opened the door. I walked through the door to the kitchen, still trying to come up with what I should say. Together we put the groceries away, while Andrew was talking about some fight he had with his mother. I was glad I just had to listen, but I was a little confused too. He seemed to be just like he was before we kissed. He acted exactly the same. After we were finished Andrew got himself a soda –he always made himself at home- and sat down on the couch. I leaned against the kitchen wall and watched him while he took a sip of his drink. All night I had hoped the kiss wouldn't effect our friendship. But now that it didn't, now that our whole friendship seemed exactly the same, the only thing I wanted was for him to at least say _something_ about it.

"So what do you say?", Andrew suddenly asked causing me to look up suprised, I hadn't been paying attention to what he was saying the last ten minutes as I was only thinking about why didn't say anything about the kiss.

"Oh sorry, what?", I asked

"If you want to go to the Mall", he asked. I was about to say something when John suddenly came in.

"John, what are you doing here?", I asked suprised.

"Gaby had unexpected company", he said, "I had to go, I was actually kind of glad. Mrs. Treshill totally worked me out. I think I'm going to bed. I'm exhausted. Good to see you Andrew", he said before walking straight to his room. I watched him before turning back to Andrew.

"What's wrong anyway? You're acting kind of weird", he said. I suddenly felt a little angry. _ I _was acting weird? _I_? He was the one kissing me and then pretending it never happened! I took a deep breathe to calm down.

"Well, I mean..we kissed", I said looking at him.

"Yeah, we did", he said, giving me no answers at all. Why was Andrew so hard to read somtimes?

"If you regret it you can just say so", I said looking at him. Andrew stood up from the couch and for one minute I thought he was going to walk away, but he didn't. He walked over to me.

"I don't", he said, "Do you?"

"No, I don't", I said when I saw Andrew smirk. He moved closer.

"Good", he teased as he leaned in slowly.

"Andrew..what about John?", I asked trying to keep myself from not immediatly attacking his lips with mine.

"What about him?", Andrew smirked stopping just inches away.

"He's home", I said looking at a smirking Andrew.

"So?", he said before he kissed me. And suddenly I didn't care anymore. This kiss was very different from our first one though. It was more _rough_, I guess. I felt Andrew putting his arm around my waist and he pulled he towards my room. He closed the door behind him and pulled away.

"There, now you won't have to worry about getting caught", he smirked before he kissed me again. I smiled against his lips and hungerly slipped my tongue in, when Andrew teasingly pulled away again.

"I have to go", he smirked, but I wouldn't let him go this time.

"I don't think so", I smirked pushing him back against the door, seeing as I was bigger than Andrew, he could hardly move away from under me.

"Well guess not than", he smirked before our lips met again.

After a while suddenly someone tried to open the door, the door that me and Andrew were blocking.

"Hey, are you guys in there?", I heard John say through the door. I tried to move away, to let John in but Andrew wouldn't let me.

"What are you doing?", I asked and Andrew smirked. He leaned in and kissed me again while he pulled us away from the door. I knew I had to pull away, or John would see us, but Andrew still had his arm around me. The door opened and Andrew moved away just in time.

"Hey", John said a little suprised, "What happened to the door?"

"Yeah sorry, I was leaning against it", I said while I looked at an smirking Andrew.

"Oh right", John said still looking a little confused, "Well the thing is, I kind of invited some people over tonight", the minute he said it I knew it were probably going to be more than 'some people'.

"You're throwing a party aren't you?", I said

"Yeah", John said smirking.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6 

After trying to convince John to cancel his party –which obviously didn't work-, we started to make the apartment ready. Andrew went to store to buy some last-minute stuff: drinking cups, some snacks etc. I felt kind of awkward as I was moving some furniture away for the party. John had almost caught me and Andrew kissing after all.

"Are you okay?", John said putting some things from the table into a drawer.

"I'm fine, why?", I answered looking away, I had been answering this questions one too many times lately. I suddenly realized that I was feeling confused quite often lately, and all because of Andrew. The weird thing was though, that I still rather would have had all this confusion, than to have never met Andrew at all. I was kind of surprised by my own sentimental thoughts, and that only confused me more. Luckily I was distracted when John spoke up again.

"Nah, I just thought you maybe were a little angry with me. I mean because of the party and all", John said a little guilty.

"No, I don't mind. As long as you don't pass out this time and leave me and Andrew to do all the cleaning up!", I said laughing. John laughed relieved and we went on talking about our annoying neighbors. Our neighbors would always borrow our stuff without returning, or turn up at our parties uninvited.

Some time later, Andrew finally returned and we set the stuff he brought in place. Soon people came, and I lost Andrew in the crowd. I hung out with John, trying to make sure he wouldn't get himself drunk again. Since I didn't see him much lately, it was nice to hang out with him and catch up. I was kind of glad my mind wasn't filled with confusing thoughts for a change, and I enjoyed John's uncomplicated company.

"Do you see that guy over there? The redhead?", John asked to me and I looked up to see him.

"Yeah, why?", I said curiously, since John met Gabrielle, John somehow always seemed to know the gossip going around, which was often quite amusing. When John and I hung out more often, John would always tell me the juicy gossip and we would end up laughing hysterically as we thought up possible causes, solutions and consequences.

"His girlfriend Liz, got _pregnant _last year", John said

"Really? The guy is like _eighteen_!", I said surprised, I had seen the guy around, I believe his name was Shawn.

"I know, but that isn't the good part. She decided to keep the baby, and they even got _married_, but when the baby was born, it was _Asian_! It wasn't his baby!", John exclaimed

"Ai, what happened?", I asked curious to hear what happened next.

"He left her, they got the marriage annulled. They haven't talked since", John concluded

"Wow, I can't even imagine being a father at this age. I don't think I could handle that", I said thoughtfully

"I know. And to imagine he'd probably never had found out it wasn't his baby if it hadn't been partially Asian. He would've lived in a lie his whole life!", John said when he spotted Brigitte, "You see her? She had an affaire with her teacher!"

I laughed at the sudden change of subject. I looked up to look at the girl when suddenly something caught my eye.

Andrew was kissing somebody.

I stood up abruptly causing John to look up surprise.

"What are you doing?", John asked surprised. I took my eyes off of Andrew. Thoughts ran through my head in top speed. I felt angry, humiliated and what I felt most of all, was hurt.

"I think I'm going to bed, I'm tired", I tried to say calmly and I closed my eyes, this wasn't happening.

"Justin, are you okay?", John asked worried as he put a hand on my back.

"I'm fine, just tired", I said opening my eyes. Andrew was still kissing the girl and suddenly I felt nauseous. I ran towards my room and slammed the door shut.

This wasn't supposed to happen, this was definitely _not_, the way I imagined this party to go. But what had I imagined? Maybe I had been foolish to think that Andrew and I had.. something. After all, we only kissed, I had kissed Madison without it meaning anything, maybe the kiss didn't mean anything to Andrew either.

I slammed my fist into the wall with anger. Why? Why had he kissed me? Why couldn't I just let this go? Why did it matter so much to me?

Suddenly I heard a knock on my door.

"Justin? Can I come in?", I heard Andrew's voice say from behind the door. For a moment I was too confused to say anything. If our kisses hadn't meant anything to Andrew why was he here? And if they had meant something, why did he kiss that girl? Either way, he was wrong.

"No, I don't think you should", I said confused

"Justin, please", Andrew said pleading, "Let me explain".

Suddenly I felt a wave of anger pass through my body. How dare he come here and try to _explain_? How could he just have used me like that? How dare he kiss me, then act like nothing happened, then kiss me again, and then go kiss someone else? Wasn't he supposed to be my best friend? Because if he was, he was being a real crap of a best friend.

I walked to the door and opened it angry. At that moment I felt more anger than hurt.

"I don't want to hear it Andrew. If this is your way of treating your friends or whatever we are, I don't want to hear it!", I said angrily

"Justin", Andrew started, but I quickly cut him off, I knew that if I didn't he would talk me into forgiving him.

"No! Just don't! You can't just treat people like that and expect to get away with it all the time. You can't just use people like that! You should go. And don't bother coming back", I said shutting the door in his face.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

I stared to the ceiling from my bed, I had been laying for some while but I still felt horrible. I had tried to sleep but I couldn't, every time I closed my eyes, the image of Andrew kissing that girl went through my mind. I wanted to cry, I didn't even know why. But on the other hand, I didn't want to. Not over this.  
I had hardly noticed the party was over till John knocked on my door.

"Hey", he said a little unsure, closing the door behind him, "The party's over". Hesitantly he sat down on my bed. I looked at him, he looked genuinely worried.  
"Okay, I'll help you clean up", I said getting up, I really didn't feel like cleaning up but I didn't want to make John do it all by himself.  
"No, it's already cleaned up. Andrew helped me", John said and he opened his mouth like he was going to say something, he hesitated a moment, "He wanted to talk to you, he seemed really.. down, I guess. I told him it would be better if he went home. I hope that's okay, but I saw you guys having a fight earlier and I figured you probably wouldn't really want to talk to him."  
"Thanks John", I smiled, "You were right, I didn't". For some time, we both just sat there in an awkward silence. Suddenly John broke the silence.

"You seemed quite upset, do you want to talk about it?", John asked quietly and I looked up at him. I knew I could trust him, but how could I tell him what had happened if I didn't know what had happened back there?  
"Not right now. I just ..have to figure out what happened there for myself first, okay?", I said to him, "Thanks though"  
"Still, I'm here for you. I know we haven't hung out as much lately as we used to, but you're still one of my best friends.", John said seriously.  
"I know, John", I said quietly, I felt a little guilty for not hanging out with him so much lately. "Goodnight"  
"Okay", John smiled timidly, "I'm going to bed then, goodnight". He stood up and walked to the door, he turned around.  
John left the room and I laid back down on the bed. After quite some time, I finally managed to fall asleep.

The next morning, when I finally got myself to get out of bed, I got some cereal and sat down on the couch. I turned on the TV, but didn't really pay attention to what was on. I didn't quite know what to do with myself. John was already gone to do some gardening, and I obviously wasn't going to call Andrew. I realized that I had hardly hung out with any of my friends lately. It took myself some time to get myself to call someone, but I finally decided to call Lisa, one of my friends from school.  
I called her, and she asked if I couldcome over. She'd call some friends and we'd all hang out.  
I didn't really feel like _hanging out_, but I most definitely didn't want to think about Andrew either.  
I took a shower and got ready to go. I got in my car and drove to Lisa's house. I knocked on the door to find a _very _excited Lisa standing there.  
"Hey you!", she said hugging me, "I feel like we haven't seen each other in ages!"  
"Yeah I know, it has been too long", I said and I felt happy I had come.It had been too long.  
"Oh well, you're here now! I called some friends, they all really wanted to see you!", she said pushing me into the living room. It was good to see everyone again. I went around the house greeting everyone when I saw Andrew. He came up to me a little hesitant but I walked away, out of the house, out of the garden. Soon Lisa followed me.  
"What are you doing?", Lisaasked a little surprised  
"I have to go, I do not want to hang out with _him_!", I said angrily, "I came here to _not _think about him!"  
"Okay, okay. Calm down. I thought you guys were friends, but I'm guessing you don't want to talk about it, so let's go. We'll go somewhere else", Lisa said  
"Yeah, that sounds good", I said, relieved I wouldn't have to face Andrew. Luckily Lisa wasn't really the talking type either, so at least she wouldn't keep going on about it.

We ended going to a bar, where we got a little _carried away_. Suddenly I heard my cell phone go off.  
"Hellooooo?", I said picking up  
"Hey, it's John. Where are you man?", I heard John's voice say.  
"Heeeeey buddy! I'm with Lisa! Just hanging out, having a little drink", I said whilst trying to drink my drink at the same time, but spilling it all over my shirt instead.  
"You're drunk, aren't you?. Where are you Justin? It's 3 AM!", John said a little worried.  
"We're at Bliss. Cool huh? But we were just about to leave, weren't we?", I replied trying to stand up from the barstool.  
"I don't think so. Stay there, I'm coming to get you two! Do you hear me? Stay there!", John said hanging up.  
"Johnny said we have to stay here", I said giggling, "Might as well have another drink then!"  
Shortly after that, John arrived at Bliss. He came up to us, rolling his eyes laughing.  
"Never thought _I _would pick _you _up from a bar drunk", he said looking at me.  
"Hey Johnny! There you are! You see? We waited!", I said grinning proudly whilst putting my arm around John.  
"Yeah yeah, very good of you. Let's go", John said laughing at my drunkenness.  
"But I haven't finished my drink yet!", I said objecting, but John pulled me and Lisa towards the exit anyway.  
"I think you two have had enough drinks already", John said chuckling. We walked up to the car and after some trouble he finally got us to wear our seatbelts. After several minutes Lisa and I both had fallen asleep on the backseat. Everything else after that is pretty much a blur.

When I woke up the next morning my head hurt like hell. I moaned and tried to sit up, but I quickly laid back down again. I pulled the cover over me head and just laid there for a while, until John came in.  
"Hey buddy", he said annoyingly cheerful, he sat himself down on my bed and pulled the covers away.  
"So, you were pretty wasted last night", John said grinning, after all, it wasn't him with the hangover for a change  
"Don't remind me", I groaned in annoyance, I tried to pull the covers back up but John wouldn't let me. I could hear John laugh and it painfully echoed through my head.  
"Hey Justin", John said suddenly, sounding a little hesitant, "Andrew is here". My head immediately shot up.  
"What?", I said annoyed, "Why? You know I don't want to talk to him"  
"Don't you remember? Hewas in the car too yesterday, in the front seat", John said raising his eyebrow, "And I do know you're mad at him, but he was really worried about you yesterday. He waited here all evening for you after you stormed out of Lisa's. He insisted I'd call you and he insistedI took him with me tocome pick you up at Bliss. I don't know what you two were fighting about at the party, but whatever he did, I think he's really sorry Justin. I think you should give him a chance to explain"  
I was surprised, Andrew had waited for me all evening? It seemed so.. unlike Andrew.  
"Fine", I sighed, "I'll talk to him", I stood up slowly, trying to limit the pouncing in my head. I walked towards the living room when I saw a sleeping Andrew on our couch. He looked so cute sleeping. Wait, no! He did_ not _look cute! This was Andrew, my supposedly best friend who had totally sold me out. I sat down in a chair and by that time Andrew opened his eyes.

"Justin", he said surprised and he immediately sat up.  
"What do you want from me Andrew?", I said sighing  
"I want to explain,what happenedthe other night", Andrew said looking down, I was a little shocked, I had never seen Andrew look so.. vulnerable before, "I know you're mad, and you have every right to be. But that kiss with Tesse, it didn't mean anything!"  
"Just like ours didn't mean anything to you?", I said angrily, I felt the anger I had felt that night all over again.  
"Come on Justin, you know I didn't mean it like that!", Andrew said looking a little helpless. I stood up angrily.  
"You know Andrew, I'm so over this. You and your pathetic need for attention!", I saidto him and Andrew stood up as well.  
"Justin, I'm sorry! It wasn't my meaning to hurt you! We were just playing truth or dare, it was just a game!", Andrew said, looking at me pleadingly.  
"Yeah, that's kind of the problem, isn't it? Everything is a game to you! You don't care about other people's feelings!", I shouted at him when I suddenly realized that John was still in the apartment – he had tactically stayed in my bedroom though- and I lowered my voice, "And you obviously don't care about this friendship"  
"Of course I do! You're my best friend!", Andrew said, "Can't you forgive me? I just want things to go back to normal for us!"  
I looked at him and sat back down again. I put my head in my hands, my head was hurting like hell. I could feel Andrew sitting down besides me.  
"Please forgive me", he whispered and I looked up to him, I had never seen him like this before. I still felt angry, but he didlook genuinely sorry.  
"Fine, just don't play me like that ever again Andrew", I said curtly. I wanted to stand up and go back to bed when Andrew stopped me.  
"I won't", he said quietly and suddenly he sat himself down on my lap. He slowly leaned in and I could feel his breathe on my skin. His hands moved over my chest and he rested them on my hips. He looked at me and was just about to kiss me, when I pushed him away.  
I quickly stood up, "Let's not go there", I said curtly.  
"I'm sorry. It's too soon, I know", Andrew said standing up.  
"No. I mean; let's not go there, _ever_", I said harshly and Andrew looked at me surprised  
"I thought you said you forgave me", he said confused.  
"I did, so now we're friends again. This is us being friends", I said looking at him, his face looked blank.  
"Okay, if that's what you want. I should probably go anyway. My mom is probably really freaking out by now.".  
There was an awkward silenceand Ilooked around the living room, just so I wouldn't have to look at Andrew. Hesitantly Andrew broke the silence.  
"Do you want to hang out some time this weekend perhaps?", he said still looking a little confused.  
"Yeah sure", I simply said and Andrew nodded, he moved to the door and looked at me one last time before leaving. I sighed and went back to my bed, my head was hurting like hell.


	8. Chapter 8

_So sorry for the late update guys! I know my updates are kind of slow and they probably will stay that way, but just wanted to let you know I am definitely continuing this story! Please be patient with me! Hope you enjoy the chapter:)_

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**Chapter 8**

The next day I was just hanging round the house, John had gone out to work and I was just watching some TV and eating _way_ too much fast-food. My mind still seemed to be on Andrew all the time. I didn't regret what I had said to Andrew, well just a little maybe. Of course I knew I was doing the right thing, but I had really wanted to kiss him the night before. His kisses weren't like any of the others I had had. But, Andrew had been my best friend for quite some time now, and I knew he changed his mind quickly. What if he would get bored with me? Then I'd be all alone again. I suddenly got a flashback to the night he kissed Tesse – who I had totally been ignoring ever since, although it of course wasn't _really _her fault – and I felt really bad again. My hand reached for the bag of chips and I blankly looked at the TV, to which I hadn't really been paying attention to for about half an hour. I really had done the right thing. It was better to protect myself and Andrew now before we got in over our heads. He had been my best friend and he had betrayed me. I'd said I had forgiven him, and I think I did, but I really couldn't trust him with my heart anymore. It was probably my own fault too, I'd read way too much into it and Andrew and I both ended up getting hurt because of it.

When Andrew called me and asked me if I wanted to come over to his place. I said I'd come, after all I did promise him we'd hang out this weekend.

I stepped in my car and drove to Andrew's. I spent the whole way thinking about how totally awkward it would be and that wasn't exactly _encouraging_. When I arrived, I stepped out of the car and walked up to the door. I knocked hesitantly and quickly Andrew came to open it.

"Hey", I said, stepping into the Van de Kamp's residence a little unsure.

"Hey man", Andrew said, sounding strangely normal, "My parents are at some lame dinner party so we have the house all to ourselves tonight"

"Nice", I chuckled nervously, more because of the awkward situation then that I was really excited though. I followed Andrew up to his bedroom where he sat himself down on his bed. He switched on the TV and I sat down next to him. Andrew acted normal but it still felt a little awkward to me.

"I'm going to get something to drink", Andrew announced and he disappeared downstairs, leaving me alone in his bedroom. In this moment I had by myself, I decided I wasn't going to act weird. After all, I was the one that had told Andrew we couldn't do whatever it was we were doing anymore and that we should go back to normal, so I really should have been the one acting normal.

Soon after that Andrew came back with the drinks and flopped right back on the bed next to me. He set the drinks down on the bedside cabinet beside me. I immediately noticed our hips were touching but I tried to concentrate on the TV instead. This was normal, this was what we had done before all that had happened. It meant nothing. My eyes were fixed on the TV, but I could feel Andrew hips against mine.

"Could you pass me the remote control?", Andrew suddenly asked and I got it from the bedside cabinet beside me. As he reached to get it, his hand seemed to linger on mine just a _little_ bit longer than necessary. Andrew turned back to the TV so fast though, that I momentarily wondered if I had imagined it.

I decided I was being paranoid again and I turned my eyes back on the TV. We just sat there watching TV for some time, when Andrew moved, laying back on the bed.

He seemed to have moved even closer, and I involuntarily shivered when I felt his body so closely against mine. I could swear I could see Andrew smirking just for a split second but I tried my best to shake it off.

"What is up with you?", Andrew asked suddenly, looking up curiously, "You've been acting… jumpy all night"

"I have?", I said faking a look of surprise, "I'm fine, really"

"If you say so", Andrew said turning his attention back to the TV. Was I really acting that weird? I figured I was probably just being my overreacting, paranoid self again. Suddenly Andrew leant over me and he put his hand on my knee, trying to reach for the bottle of water on the bedside cabinet. I couldn't help but gasp. He was _just_ trying to get the bottle I told myself. Of course he was. I tried to focus on the TV, but it was _extremely _hard with Andrew's hand on my knee. Suddenly Andrew started moving his hand upwards. My eyes opened wide immediately. It wasn't till he almost reached my inner thigh, though when I realized what was really happening.

"_What_ are you doing!", I asked, standing up from the bed and looking at Andrew shocked

"Just getting the bottle", Andrew shrugged grinning, innocently pouring himself a drink.

"Dude! You were _not _just getting the bottle!", I said still rather shocked

"Don't flatter yourself", Andrew laughed, drinking from his cup and turning his attention back to the TV.

"I thought we talked about this", I sighed, sitting back down on the bed. It was hard enough not to immediately jump Andrew without him touching me all the time.

"_You're _the one getting al excited", Andrew smirked, he came closer and pushed my shoulders back on the bed, straddling my hips with his legs. I could feel Andrew coming closer and suddenly I felt his lips in my neck. I tried my best to suppress a moan, though it didn't exactly work.

"Andrew", I said closing my eyes, "I can't do this"

Andrew slyly moved his kisses up to my ears.

"Say that you don't want it then, just say it and I'll stop", Andrew whispered slowly and I opened my eyes to meet his. His eyes looked at me suggestively. I wanted him, I wanted him so bad. In a moment of weakness I leaned forward to kiss Andrew's lips. He immediately responded and I wasn't even considering pulling away anymore. His tongue met mine and I couldn't help but put my arms around him. His tongue moved agonizingly slowly around mine, but in a good way. The kiss was needy and passionate and Andrew's hands on my chest drove me crazy. Why had I ever considered giving this up?

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_Hope that can make you forgive me, for not updating so long! ;) Please review:)_


	9. Chapter 9

_A new chapter, yay! I know it had taken a while but it's finally here. It's not really that long but it just seemed right like this. I'll try and post the next chapter sooner :)_

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**Chapter 9**

Andrew and I both laid in silence, both caught up in our own worlds. I couldn't quite figure out how to feel; happy or anxious. The silence between us didn't help either, was Andrew just enjoying the moment _or_ was he regretting it? I couldn't say I regretted it, but with that kiss had come so many uncertainties. Uncertainties that _had_ been the reason I vowed not to kiss him again after all. Well, in theory, _he _had kissed _me_, but it wasn't like I had tried to stop him.

I turned my head to look at Andrew, but he didn't even notice. He was lying on his back, staring at the ceiling. He didn't look very regretful, I could even swear he was smiling a little. It was late and moonlight was the only thing lighting the room. I wanted to say something, anything, but I was scared. Scared to ruin something.

"Andrew?", I finally whispered, scared to break the silence. I had no idea what I was going to say, but I felt I had to say something. He slowly turned his head to me.

"What?", Andrew asked looking at me, though it didn't sound unkind at all.

"I don't mean to run ahead of things but, what happens now?", I asked a little insecure, I wasn't quite sure I wanted to hear his answer. I was taken by surprise when Andrew moved his hand to my cheek.

"You worry too much", Andrew whispered and his thumb softly caressed my cheek. I felt my heart beating faster as his eyes pierced into mine. I felt my skin burning from his touch, but in a good way. It felt like a thousand, no scratch that, a million butterflies were flying around in my stomach.

It was in that exact moment in time, that I fell in love with him. _Really_ fell in love with him.

I closed my eyes to savour the feeling. Andrew smartly took advantage of that by softly placing his lips on mine. He was being so gentle that I had hardly noticed it before he pulled away mere seconds later. I opened my eyes to look at him blissfully, he seemed to be the most sincere he had ever been. This kiss hadn't been just about lust or curiosity it had been about… something real. By now, I was yearning to feel his touch again and I leant in to kiss him again. His lips met mine again, but this time a little bit more passionate. I felt his tongue softly graze against my lower lip, and I gratefully let it in. His tongue moved against mine in perfect harmony. Andrew shifted his body so that we were only a few centimeters apart. He ran his hands through my hair pulling my head in even closer. I teasingly pulled away and couldn't help but smirk at the look of lust in his eyes. Knowing that _I_ had done that to him, made me feel like I was flying.

But in a sudden moment, I got scared. I got scared of my feelings and I restlessly moved to lay on my back. This wasn't real. This _couldn't _be real. I turned to lay on my side, turning my back on Andrew. Andrew wasn't like this, this gentle or caring, I knew that. But it was already too late, I had fallen for him, I had _really, really _fallen for him and as soon as I could feel Andrew's arms finding their way around my waist, instantly all my doubts disappeared.

I relaxed into his body and enjoyed the rising and falling of his chest as he breathed. When I felt him softly press his lips against the back of my neck, I could feel the millions of butterflies flying up and down my stomach.

As soon as they calmed down a bit, a feeling of serenity washed over me. I was happy that he was content with just simply laying here. Laying here in a perfect silence. Even though I did love his voice, as anything else about him too, I was glad he didn't say anything. Words always seem to ruin those special moments and I never wanted this moment to end.

I closed my eyes, taking in the feeling of peace, which was only subtly disturbed by the occasional butterfly stirring in my stomach. I mentally slapped myself for even considering ending this. At his moment, I felt all the struggle in the world was worth it, if he could make me feel like this. Whatever would happen, no-one could take this night away from me. Laying there, in his arms made me feel like the luckiest man in the world. At the moment, I couldn't think of any of the doubts that I had thought of earlier. I couldn't feel anything but his arms holding me.

For the moment, I was blind to the rest of the world and I loved it.

Nothing could've changed my mind that night, because that night was the night that I started losing myself in you.

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_Please review:)_


	10. Chapter 10

_Hello everyone! I have a new chapter and it hasn't even been that long! I must say I am feeling quite proud of myself for being all updatey and stuff! ;) Hope you guys like it, please leave a review:)_

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**Chapter 10**

The next day I woke up still peacefully lying in Andrew's arms. I dared not move, afraid to wake Andrew. I don't know how long I just laid there; just staring out the window, through which sunlight now lit up the room. I found myself constantly trying to imagine what would happen when Andrew would wake up, even though I tried my best not to. I was never good with situations where I didn't know what would happen. Obviously this was such a situation and all those uncertainties really made me insecure. It astounds me how some people swear by the life philosophy: '_going with the flow'_. I mean really, g_oing with the flow_? I obviously don't believe in it. For me, the idea of being dragged down the so-called _flow_, while not knowing where I'll end up is a highly unpleasant idea. I like knowing my destination, at least that limits the amount of painful situations. When you know where you are going, you can figure out the least painful way to get there. And so far, it always worked for me.

Unfortunately, with this whole situation with Andrew, I didn't just seem to be flowing in the average flow of life. No, the flow I was in more resembled the flow of a tide wave during a storm. It was weird to think that it was only a few weeks ago that this whole situation started. It seemed a lifetime ago. Good things as well as bad things had happened in those few weeks. Actually, it would almost seem that in those few weeks I had reached both the lowest and the highest points in my life. I had been badly hurt but I also had felt the greatest feeling of all, I had felt the feeling of love. Which of course was a good thing, but now I was terrified of losing it. Some people say it is better to have love and lost, than to have never lost at all, but I wasn't quite convinced yet.

My thought were suddenly disturbed by an awaking Andrew.

"Good morning", he yawned while wrinkling his nose and I couldn't help but smile at how cute it looked. He rubbed his eyes and I admired his handsome features as he sat up in the bed.

"Good morning", I whispered smiling and Andrew got up from the bed to look out the window.

"It's a nice day. Maybe we should go to that pool party, you know, the one that my weirdo-neighbour is throwing. It's probably a total bore but we could get a swim" Andrew suggested and I was momentarily confused as to what he was talking about. Oh, right. He mentioned this pool party that one of his neighbours was throwing some time ago. Apparently, the boy was a total freak and Andrew himself quite seemed to like ridiculing him, so I was kind of surprised he actually wanted to go.

"Are you actually suggesting going? You were the one saying that the party was the lamest thing you ever heard", I said laughing. It was quite funny how Andrew could suddenly change his mind all the time. You'd hear him saying one thing one day, to completely here him contradict it the next. Andrew laughed and slowly came back over to the bed. Good, right where I wanted him.

"_I know_ what I said, smart-ass", Andrew replied, crawling up to me smirking, "But I changed my mind. Now, if you don't want to go with me. That's fine, I'll just have to find someone else to entertain me I guess"

I gave him the evil eye. He truly was a born manipulator. You could have a discussion with him about the stupidest things, about things you _knew _you were right about and still end up slightly doubting your rightfulness after all. I groaned in annoyance, as I knew that he knew that I'd go. God, I'm such a loser. And the problem is; he knows it. He _knows_ he can practically persuade me of doing or believing anything he says. Having known him for some time by now, I hardly even objected to him most of the time. There just wasn't really a point to it. Besides, I didn't really mind, I had always been more of a follower and I know that it sounds corny but just looking into his eyes made me willing to be his loser any day.

"Fine. I'll go, I was just saying", I said rolling my eyes jokingly.

"Great, that's settled then", Andrew grinned triumphantly, "So I'll go and call Lisa and the others and see how they feel about going, okay?". My face fell instantly. Lisa and the others? Why call Lisa and the others? I didn't want Lisa and the others to come. I knew that it wasn't really that big of a deal whether they came or not, but I still didn't want them to. Because if they'd come, we would have to pretend nothing was going on the entire night. I didn't want to pretend. I didn't want to share Andrew with _Lisa and the others_. The thought alone of having to keep my distance from him the entire night was depressing. Andrew must have read my thoughts as he shuffled a little closer and smiled.

"Come on, Justin. We'd still be there together", Andrew said smiling and I was momentarily paranoid about whether or not he was patronizing me. I felt like such a little child. Like a little child who had to share his toys with others. I know it was stupid, I know it was immature but I still didn't want to do it. It wasn't just the fact that I would have to keep my distance all the time, it was also the fact that Andrew acted so different around other people. I guess I was just scared it would break my bubble. Even though I was in love with the guy, I still knew he could be an ass and especially in front of other people. I sighed as Andrew looked at me expectantly.

"It's fine. But you better think a good way to reward me for sharing you!", I said in a sort of mock-childish voice making Andrew laugh. I hoped he realized I meant it though.

I lazily got off the bed while Andrew went to call some friends. I stretched and got my jacket which was draped over one of the chairs in the room. John was probably getting a little worried by now, after all I hadn't even told him I was going to Andrew's and I ended up staying the night. I felt the butterflies flying around in my stomach again as I remembered last night. It had been great. Hell, it had been the greatest night of my life.

"You're going already?", I heard a voice saying behind me as I felt Andrew's arms wrapping themselves around my waist. I turned around to face him and I grinned at his pouting face.

"Yeah, if you're going to keep me waiting all night I might as well torture you while doing it by looking the best I can. And in order to that, I really need to go home to shower and get changed.", I said only half joking.

"You _could_ take a shower here", Andrew said suggestively and I was _very _tempted to take him up on his offer, but I wanted to keep him waiting.

"I guess I could-", I said, I leaned in to kiss him and I had to control myself not to drag him to the shower anyway. I managed to maintain myself and I stepped back zipping up my jacket, "- but I won't". The look in Andrew's eyes was absolutely priceless. I was actually feeling quite the man, making him wait like that. The only disadvantage was that I was now feeling quite _needy_ myself.

"Fine", Andrew spoke squinting his eyes at me evilly, "Well then I guess I'll see you tonight Mr. Prude" I laughed and couldn't resist pressing my lips against his quickly before leaving. It was only a small kiss but it was enough to make my heart beat faster.

"See you tonight!", I called through the hall while making my way down the stairs. I practically floated to my car and I drove home in total bliss.

I was falling madly in love and it was the greatest feeling in the world.

* * *

_That was it! Please leave a review, I'd really appreciate it:)_


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